Building Meaningful Relationships: Why Business Deals Are Like Dating
Let us imagine a scenario where a person is asking someone on a date. To get the other person’s attention, they boast about their richness, success, the people that they know, their property, their beauty, etc.
It goes like this: “I am really rich. I made a lot of money. I am very successful. I know a lot of people. I’ve got a beautiful house. You should come and check it sometime. And I am in the media a lot, which is great because I am really good looking and powerful”. In short, the too-familiar story sounds a little like this: “I am the best and the biggest. Therefore, date me.”
Will this person get a second (or even a first) date? Doubtful. Beauty and riches may be fun at first, but they do not guarantee a long-lasting relationship. A sound relationship demands time, honesty, care, and consent. Flirting is not about self-promotion, but rather about highlighting the connection between you and your potential partner, and why it would be beneficial to interact with each other.
The same goes for business interactions. Here’s a typical approach to making deals: “You know we are a very successful company. We are the biggest in the industry. We are very successful. And I became one of the top sales brokers. Our corporate headquarters are amazing. You may have seen our commercial on TV”.
Business though is all about people.
The deals that do resonate are usually arranged in this way: “You know I am the luckiest person because I love what I do. I get to wake up every morning to inspire people to do the things that inspire them. It’s really like I love my work. And an amazing thing is that I am also able to make money out of it. And I got to meet all these famous people. I have built a house, you are very welcome to come and see my family. I am called as a speaker very often to share my experience with other people”.
Why then are we used to making business deals with unsolicited boasting or egotism? Like in dating, big and flashy marketing strategies do not always lead to sustainable partnerships. To establish a balanced and meaningful partnership, there must be trust and honesty—and that takes time.
Sustaining a business deal takes commitment, much like maintaining a romantic life. Relationships, either personal or business, are all built on the same thing: authenticity. So, the next time you are reaching out to a potential partner, ask yourself this: Am I being genuine? Why do I do what I do, and how can I portray it to others in a way that conveys my passion? Why would we make a great team? People are more likely to buy into the cause and the values of a company (instead of its size or power), especially in Canada and even more in Quebec, so setting yourself apart in that regard can go a long way.
Even if such an interaction does not lead immediately towards a successful partnership, it nonetheless sets a precedent and establishes a positive connection with that future partner.
Co-author: Kim Lefort, a student at McGill University in Political Science and Russian Studies, Loran scholar
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